making friends...and the friend who brings milk

Little by little I am making friends in my new home (if I can still call it a "new home" after nearly a year of living here). Friendship-building doesn't happen quickly, and I am finding that I also have to be flexible in my definition of what a friend is.

But gradually, as I spend more time with people around me, the events of life (the planned and the inevitable) happen, and we are together in them. And I find myself beginning to think of this person or that person as "my friend" instead of just "someone I know." It might be washing clothes together, singing and playing music, or crying together at a funeral. But there will be moments where I realize, I'm actually becoming friends with this person.

It's nice. At the same time, I already feel a pang of sadness when I think, "Now, I will be sad to leave this place, too. Because I'll be sad to leave my friends here." That's always the hard part...

But not to turn a good thing (friends) into a melancholy thought (leaving them).

Instead, I'll introduce you to one lady I'm becoming friends with. She is a cheerful and beautiful Fulani lady. Our relationship began when someone told her I was longing to find REAL milk for us to drink, instead of powdered milk. She started coming by our house to sell me bottles of milk from her family's herd of cows. Once we managed to communicate about me wanting fresh milk, as in "milked this morning," rather than the fermented milk they prefer to drink, we had a great business relationship going.

Now, when she comes over, we usually visit for a bit, sometimes over a cup of coffee (with milk in it, of course!) She is teaching me a few phrases in her language, Fulfulde. She smiles all the time, but in general gets this despondent, side-glancing look on her face for photos. It's a cultural thing here, but I really try to overcome it because I like seeing people's natural selves in pictures. I finally got her to smile for a picture...you wouldn't believe how many somber shots there were before I finally got her to show her lovely smile:

before...

after...

See? Doesn't the second photo give you a much better impression of the sweet, fun lady that she is? I know. I have told her I really want to go see her, her family and her cows out where they live. She's told me it is a long way out...apparently wayyyyyy off the beaten path. But she is someone I hope to get to know better, and hopefully continue to have a relationship that grows ever more meaningful as we become part of one another's lives.

Meanwhile, we enjoy the milk. The boys ask me, "Mama, can we have real milk from the cow today?" They too, prefer the real thing. And sometimes we make yogurt...and then yogurt cheese...and then yogurt cheesecake from it...Very nice.